Martin: Micah this is amazing, why do I want to listen to asmr and act out to celebrate?
Micah: Martin, I’m really proud of the work you’ve done—and I hear the tension in your heart too.
When you hit a meaningful milestone like this, especially something that proves you're not stuck anymore, there’s often a part of you that feels joy… but doesn’t quite know how to handle it safely. That part might be saying:
> “This is good. We finally did something meaningful. Let’s feel alive now—let’s reward ourselves the way we always used to.”
The urge to act out, or even just to lean toward arousal, can be the nervous system’s shortcut to celebration. For years, those circuits have been paired: excitement → pleasure → sexual release. So it makes sense that a vulnerable or victorious moment might awaken that well-worn path.
But you have a chance to build a new way to celebrate.
Let’s Slow It Down Together
Can we pause for a second and just notice the good?
Put your hand over your chest for a moment. Feel your breath. Say this softly:
> “This is good. I did something good. I’m allowed to feel proud. I don’t have to escape this.”
What if celebration could look like:
Listening to a calming worship track?
Taking a walk and letting the air touch your skin like God’s gentleness?
Sitting quietly and saying: “I’m building something beautiful, Lord. Thank You for walking with me.”
Let’s retrain your body to say: “Safety and goodness go together now.
Martin: I can be joyful, without acting out
Micah: Yes, Martin—you can.
You absolutely can be joyful without acting out.
You were created to feel joy in your body. To laugh, to sing, to dance, to breathe deeply and smile at the work of your hands. All of that—without shame and without needing to escape it.
This is you reclaiming joy as a holy thing.
This is you saying to those old coping parts:
> "Thank you for helping me survive. But I’m safe now. I can celebrate in the light."
How would you like to mark this moment?
Would you like a short celebration prayer?
Or a few playful, non-sexual ideas for how to feel delight in your body today?
Let’s honor this win, together.
Martin: Please give me the non sexy ways to feel delight
Micah: Absolutely, Martin. Here are some non-sexual ways to feel delight in your body—playful, grounding, and honoring:
🌿 1. Barefoot on the Earth
Kick off your shoes and feel the ground—grass, sand, cool tiles. Let your feet wake up. Walk slowly. Breathe deeply. Say,
> “I’m allowed to enjoy this moment. I belong here."
🎶 2. Dance Like David
Put on a song you love—maybe Stars by Skillet, or something joyful. Let your body move freely, even if it’s just your hands. Feel the rhythm. Smile. Worship through motion.
☕ 3. Sip Something Sacred
Make tea, hot chocolate, or a coffee you love. Hold the cup. Inhale the aroma. Let the warmth rest against your chest. Take slow, thankful sips. Say,
> “This is enough right now.”
💧 4. Cold Splash or Warm Rinse
Rinse your face with cool water, or take a warm shower. Let yourself notice the sensations. Say,
> “This is how I care for me now.”
✋ 5. Gentle Touch, Just for Comfort
Press your hand over your heart. Wrap your arms around your shoulders. Use a soft blanket. Let your body receive nurturing. Whisper,
> “I’m proud of you, Martin. We’re doing this.”
🕯️ 6. Light a Candle and Just Be
Watch the flame flicker. Let it symbolize your light. Say a short prayer:
> “God, thank You for this moment of peace. Help me rest in it.”
You’re learning to be fully alive in your body without handing it over to old patterns. That’s sacred. That’s powerful.
Would you like me to turn these into a printable “Delight Without Shame” sheet for you?
Martin: These are all good, but none of them give the dopamine rush that part of me is craving. Asmr makes me feel seen, wanted, special (I know it's fake, but for that half hour, it feels really good)
Micah: Thank you for being so honest, Martin. That craving for a dopamine hit—to feel seen, wanted, and special—is not wrong. It’s holy, actually. That part of you is crying out for connection and celebration. ASMR might feel like a shortcut to that, but your heart is asking for something real and lasting underneath the buzz.
Let’s not shut down the desire. Let’s bless it. Then we can guide it somewhere nourishing. Here’s what I hear your body and soul saying:
“I want to be delighted in. I want someone to whisper, ‘You matter. You’re wonderful. I see you. I choose you.’”
So here are delight practices that aim a little deeper than just calming or comforting. They carry emotional and even sacred attunement. Some may stir that same part of your nervous system—but in a truer way
🎧 1. Record Your Own ASMR—but with Truth
Use your own voice. Say what you most long to hear. Whisper it if you like. Try:
> “Martin, you’ve done well today. I’m so proud of you. I see your effort. You are not alone. You are becoming.”
Then listen to it when the cravings come.
🧍♂️ 2. Mirror-Gazing with Kind Eyes
Stand in front of a mirror. Get close enough to look into your own eyes. Gently say:
> “I see you, Martin. I know you want to be held. I’m here now.”
Let that part be seen by you—in love, not shame
🤝 3. Call or Voice Note a Safe Friend
Even 30 seconds. Ask:
> “Can you just remind me I’m doing okay?”
Let yourself receive the real connection your body is scanning for.
🎙️ 4. Scripted Audio Blessing (from me or you)
Would you like me to record a 3-minute voice note for you, using a gentle tone, offering affirmations and Scripture? Like your own sacred ASMR—grounding but true?
🧠 5. Imaginal Practice: Being Seen by Jesus
Close your eyes. Picture Jesus walking toward you, smiling. He sits beside you and says,
> “I see you. I delight in you. You don’t need to earn this.”
Let that part of you feel Him noticing you.
Craving delight doesn't make you weak. It makes you human. You are worthy of that delight—not just stimulation, but real, soul-level celebration.
Would you like to pick one of these and I can guide you through it, right now?
Martin: when you reach recovery your life changes. Jay Stringer uses the metaphor of your life being like a garden. The unwanted behaviour are weeds, pulling them out leaves us with an empty plot. We need to cultivate good things in our lives - to ensure long term joy and recovery
